Jun 18, 2010

A Moment to Pause and Stand Rapt in Awe

Contemplation is an amazing quality of human mind. You can indulge in it for hours at a time and feel yourself dissolved into the whole of creation. Life is a pure magic, the way it came to be and the way it dissolves into Eternity. There is so much beauty, so much suffering to it as well. Woody Allen puts it pretty dark with his satirical humor, people get born, they live, they suffer and in the end they just die, lol. But, people don't just die in the end, if they have lived with the whole of their being, they don't just die, they leave a lot behind, influence, remembrance, wisdom. Hindu teachings comfort with the notion of physical rebirth and I don't know about that, but I know about the spiritual rebirth. The hermetic death and the rebirth of the Self, that happens within.

I've been pondering death ever since I can remember. I used to be completely terrified by it when I was a child. I just couldn't accept the thought that one day my parents will die and all my relatives and friends and even I.. just couldn't wrap my mind around it. "Why people die?" I asked myself. I used to imagine what happens after I die. I remember I imagined how I am gone and the world just keeps moving on, everything the same, but only without me. It seemed so pointless. There had to be a greater meaning to this all, I thought. Since then I became a seeker. A seeker of wisdom, knowledge, insight, seeking the meaning. The meaning of life. Such a fundamental question, an age-old question that has bothered human mind probably since the dawn of it.
And answers there are, not one, but many. Many answers in layers and levels. There are levels of truth, just as there are levels of meaning and reality. It all depends on the subject who is asking, I guess. The more you encompass, the more the answer encompasses and the more it transcends the superficial.

Life is but a moment, a moment that we have today and tomorrow we do not. A moment of colors, emotions, sounds and sensations. A moment that is born out of death and rolls back into it. Or that again, maybe death is born out of life and rolls back into it?! "This is correct, my child" a wise guru would say. May be, just maybe. Life follows its dogma, every living thing follows the paradigm of life. Those, who choose not to usually end up as outsiders, monks, weirdos, alienated wise teachers or just undercover loners. Yeah, wisdom has a price. It doesn't come cheap, you know. And that's why all the warnings in the esoteric books. "Don't go too deep in the well or you might drown" It's alright, I can swim. Hey, I can even fly! Yeah. I am a flier. A frequent flier too. I fly a lot, lol, and I don't mean aided by anything apart from Inspiration. This great Spirit of the Universe - Inspiration - that gives you wings and a jet engine even. Inspiration, the greatest high to all artists, poets, philosophers and thinkers alike.
Sometimes loneliness is your best friend though. Just don't tell this to my friends or they may think I don't appreciate them enough, which is far from it!

In time I came to realize that the greater question is not "What is the meaning of life?" but "What is human consciousness?". What is this mind that thinks, this living self-aware brain that is essentially you, me, I?! I, the thinking being, that realizes and contemplates the entire Universe in my meager brain, as compared to the volume of the cosmos. Or maybe it is not just me that contemplates the Universe, but the Universe also contemplates me! We contemplate each other and get to know ourselves in our reflection on the other. If there was no other, no contemplation could exist and without contemplation no awareness could exist and without awareness for the object, the subject could not exist. Everything is interconnected in such an intimate way. Oh, Universe hold me tight, love me, kiss me, don't release me, for I love you too!

What is I? I and wisdom. I and loneliness. I and the most intimate secrets of thy soul. I and the Universe. God lives within me. I am a temple of God. And I even don't exist. I am the Universe without me. I am not. Denial. Self-denial. What is this? A string of words as good as a string of binary code. It is all about whether the receiver can decode it or not. If not, it is just a string of non-sense. Transpersonal Love. Even if life is an illusion, it is the grandest illusion of all. There is something hidden in the human soul, something deep, a door that leads to.. Infinity. God is never farther from you than the veins in your neck, don't forget. It is YOU.

T h i n k | Your mind is not given to you to be idle and asleep, oh, human being.


溫淑芬 said...

You are flattering me..............................................................

Ateviel Al Bulgari said...

What are these writings that you keep posting anyway? Some sort of Chinese links? Spam from China?! ;)