The Irregular Shapes Of Clouds At Night

I’m trying to do some study this afternoon, but just can’t pull my thoughts together or more like, can’t clear my head, so to concentrate for more than just a few minutes at a time. My mind has been kind of preoccupied with the memory of Michael recently, I keep thinking about him, about our meeting, he keeps popping up in my thoughts. I had a few amazing erotic fantasies with his image these days, such a powerful emotion, like virtual reality with full HD and feelings on. The alchemy of imagination and the CNS can be such an incredible journey into your senses. This love is so strange, I have felt it a few times before and things never work out for one reason or another whatever. Just the intense emotion that brings spiritual growth, a lot of daydreaming intoxicated with at times overpowering feelings flared up by vivid imagery.

This time truly an entire ocean and a continent separate us. I don’t feel so down though, as I have felt at previous times. Man, have I felt desperate with heartache in my more tender years, horrible periods. This time, I am way more balanced and experienced, even though being a fast-flared love from first sight, it is a mature love, yeah, that describes it. Not less intense, but just accepted with maturity, rather than fight the whole world just because i love-sick. So interesting, this is something new. I am experienced! Wow, lol.

Anyway, Samantha is doing good, she is not hiking the streets carrying a carton cup with Australian wine as much anymore, mainly because she can’t find a suitable partner for this. Oh well, we the walkers are a rare breed, not easy to find, Sam! She is working now, a day job and a weekends job as well, gaining some cash, which is not a bad idea. I am into some serious episodes sequence as well, the new season, lol, preparing for exams and starting off working again soon, while drafting on some ideas for the future in the meanwhile.

I think it’s time to start drafting ideas for the more far away future, so that to have an idea what destination to steer myself to. I am not sure yet really. I mean, what the heck do I do in this life?! Something meaningful, something both interesting and challenging, a whole journey that will also be my day job. Hmm. It all sometimes seems so pointless, dull, ridiculous, all the phases and cycles, the paths people take, in life, in society, things everyone does, always renewing and repeating. And while all this is good, sometimes all the predetermination, predictability, repeatedness can seem so boring, so discouraging.. makes you wonder, what is the point? Apart from enjoying the beauty, growing with the sorrows and gaining wisdom on the way. Since everything follows its pattern anyway, as if there is no other way things can go, as if this is the only way to develop and whatever you do, as much as you may do for the better common good, in the end you still will fit in the pattern of human history, as a piece of it, however big or small. Everything is a pattern, patterns from the smallest to the largest and all the levels in between, patterns and cycles.

Human history also follows a pattern consistent of cycles in its’ unfolding flow. A rather slow-moving pattern, considering the potentials of human mind. I think people today, especially the socially developed ones, should know and understand more from the nature of the cosmos, through evolution of life and to the depths of human psychology and layers of the mind. One can say that humanity is somewhat retarded. Which popular situation serves quite beneficially to all marketing and happily-thriving commerce. The biggest difference between societies today, the way they work in the interaction b/w individuals and between groups, and societies thousands of years back is that we have technology today and a lot of detailed knowledge. That’s all, the core is barely changed, trade, relations, mindsets, military conflicts, diplomacy, layers, the mainframe is more or less stagnant on a rather basic level. There is nothing really new, apart from the aforementioned. And even before technology people had pretty good knowledge as well and they always tend to dismiss it, destroy it and burn it and forget it, until after some good chunk of time philosophers come up again with it, as what happened with the knowledge from the classic world and its subsequent revival in the Renaissance. Books were burned again on several other occasions throughout History and even today there is still censorship of religious, political or other ideological sort in most parts of the world.

The movements of social layers, of wealth, power, religions, all repeating in certain patterns, even though the patterns follow a spiral progression, always at a farther point in each repeating cycle, still remain more or less preserved for the past few thousand years. Empires grow and fade, influences shift, here, for instance, now a new economic power is emerging, China that is, social shifts are resettling, and it has always been like this, humanity, changing and morphing in a certain pattern constantly. And there is the funny thing, people from all previous ages and eras, always have thought that they are somewhat very advanced in all crafts, arts and understanding, cutting edge in cultural heights. So they were, I guess. Such a strange thing is the social evolution humanity follows, so controversial in itself, we advance and yet stagnate, holding tight to the past, trying to preserve it, refusing to let go of old traditions, affections, disputes, to grasp new knowledge, as if human psyche has a keep-yourself-retarded-as-much-as-possible mechanism at work.

There are historical sources that have preserved with the tools of written word a piece of observation about the general merchant in Sumer markets a couple of thousand years ago, that they “Always see to put less weight in a bag, than agreed with the price.” (I read that cited in an interesting book about the historical development of economic thought), of course, today we have regulations and consumer rights, lol, too much at times. And in this line of thought, again this need for imposing regulations emerges in order for people to guide their hardwired behavior, which is intrinsically selfish-driven and “evil”, as opposed to the century-old propaganda of the church. And yes, archaic religion, another primitive element in contemporary society, which only means that a few thousand years from now, hopefully, we in our age today will be seen as part of human’s developing stages. I believe it will be referred to as the end of the Middle ages, lol. May be even a Second Renaissance.

So, the first point is to enjoy and make the most out of your experience. Then think more, use your mind to learn and tackle everything actively as much as you can cultivate this mental state in yourself. Then think up of something meaningful to do, while on the journey to mental advancement and spiritual growth. Do, always do. Move and do. I tend to contemplate more than do, I admit. I know, but contemplating the profound is just soo, so tranquilizing, so mesmerizing, like daydreaming when in love. May be I was a Himalayan monk in my previous life. There is one most important thing I have to do now, and this is to complete my book, which i haven’t been doing for the past few months. Also, to graduate next summer and make more cash in between, lol. That’s it, it’s seriously time to get moving more consistently. Yeah. Right. Make my own way in this life, I dread conventionality and boring perspectives. Let the flare burn and inspiration fill the heart, the Universe guides me! Let the Universe be with you too.

When Man Created God. Genesis of Religious Thought and the Spiritual Need [part 2]

In our contemporary societies, intrigues, rows and fights, jealousy, hypocrisy, selfishness and ignorance, break-ups and problematic communication are considered as standard spices to human relationships. It is normal for people to fight and be unable to reach consent with each other. It is normal to hurt each other both physically and emotionally, whether or not we feel sorry and apologize afterwards. Violence has always fascinated man and has been a preferred form of entertainment for both children and adults alike until this day. It is normal for peoples` behavior to first react and think later. Stereotypes and behavioral frames plague the minds of the youth, as well as their parents`. In their relationships, people do not seek harmony, but domination. Helplessly submitting to the will of their emotional affections and spontaneous urges.

It is no wonder really that ignorance and mental passivity are preferred states of the mind by default, since realization in self-awareness is not an easy process and causes much emotional distress to the traveler who dared to plunge into the depths of his soul. Self-control is an art that only the strongest wield. The first steps are the hardest. Just as the darkest hour is just before dawn.

A grotesque picture can be drawn of humanity today indeed, a present that we can radically transform. We create the future today, whether we do it consciously or not. If the average levels of awareness and understanding are heightened globally, we will make the next step in our social evolution as humanity and as self-aware, intelligent beings. This mental evolution is necessary if we are to move positively forward as humanity, because if we continue to develop only our exterior habitat, but remain stagnant and narrow-minded in our spiritual concepts and understanding one day a third world war with technologically advanced weapons will be inevitably fought. And this is a very grim prospect indeed, but lays very real and immanent on the path we currently follow. Our future relies upon us. Every individual matters, because if we are to truly change our world for the better, the change must begin in the mind of the individual! You may not be able to change the world alone, but you can change yourself and with that to positively influence your very local world. You may not be able to stop war and hate in the whole world, but you can stop those in yourself and bring peace and harmony in the world closest to you in the face of your family, at work, at the street in your relationships with friends and all the people you communicate with in your life. If you improve yourself and aim to higher awareness and understanding you influence the people around you and bring positive change in your life and the lives of people close to you.
And together we can move the world and drown it in a global wave of inspiration!

So, where do you start? Start with yourself!
How? Transform yourself into an example and embodiment of the new ideals – patience and understanding in your relationships with others, self-control and higher awareness in active mentality. Search for the reasons of your reactions and behavior, analyze, comprehend and understand yourself. Build your character, ask questions and search for the answers. Do not be passive – improve, dare and do!

Know yourself and reach the profound depths of your mind. Do not simply be an average person driven by your instincts and primal reactions, push your limits over the edge, sculpt yourself and wield yourself.
Most people find it hard at first to even see their inferiorities and imperfections or perceive their limited awareness, so that they wonder whatever there is to improve in themselves.

The human Ego is a strange entity or this essential personality that is formed in your childhood and established in your adulthood that you address when you say “I”. Often our perception for ourselves and what we show to the world differ, whether we do it consciously or not. Mostly our behavior as personality is driven by psychological motifs that are beyond our awareness. There are many common forms of behavior noted by the science of psychology that people share, like the compensatory behavior that is widely spread. For instance, a person who has poor self-esteem and deepened level of uncertainty tends to adopt an arrogant, aggressive and anti-social behavior with varying levels of intensity. Aggression always is a sign of inner uncertainty and fear.
Our ego has the peculiar property to conceal the true motifs for our reactions and affections, always searching for justifications, never allowing you to be critical towards yourself and ever sustaining a sense of greatness and impeccability. As if the purpose of the ego is to keep your consciousness in a semiautomatic state, preventing it from expanding and awaking. As if the human ego is a primal chain that frames our consciousness and keeps us asleep. A primitive mechanism that we haven`t realized as a limitation yet, along with our very basic mammalian behavior in the face of all the primal instincts that drive us.
As if, indeed self-knowledge is hidden from man, as the ancient wisdom says and human eyes have not yet fully awoken.
By a rule, if you are to grasp and comprehend the world and the most hidden mechanisms of the Universe better, you must first comprehend and understand yourself, the cosmos within you.
This is achieved by the process of self-observation that results in a heightened self-awareness and realization. By putting yourself at the place of the known object, whom you poke, question, explore and analyze. The more questions you ask and the more persistently you think on the answers the deeper your insight goes and the more you realize and understand.
Observation and contemplation are at the base of all knowledge. The answers rarely come in an instant with a flash, but usually unfold gradually in time becoming more and more profound and complete. Seek and you shall find.

How knowing yourself changes you? In quantum physics there is one fundamental principle, without the presence of which no system would have existed at all – this is the observer principle. The act of observation changes the behavior of the observable object, even more the act of observation sets it in motion and definitiveness. Without an observer no knowledge and no form exist. This notion is quite profound as it implicates that beyond our own consciousness that creates our personal reality, we live in another much bigger reality that is the Universe itself. And as far as we can discern this cosmos we live in is filled with all kinds of forms and definite objects with definite shapes and electromagnetic properties. Furthermore, this atomic soup of particles ultimately organized and reorganized in such a way that eventually led to life on Earth and evolution of human beings.
The Universe, from the energetic aspect we perceive it, is an unimaginably huge void of blackness and intangible nothingness that is scarcely filled with all the atoms that make up the billions of octillions of stars, all the exotic stellar objects of the cosmos, our planet and all life on it. As chaotic and unpredictable the quantum world is, all the systems from the stellar to the microcosmic are guided by certain patterns, physical principles and existential rules that define their form and movement. That is, the cause-and-effect link chain rules the world as we know it. Anthropology and cosmology tell us that the physical systems were set into motion and definite existence before the emergence of human consciousness, therefore there must be a greater, cosmic observer who by the act of observation has set into motion the organization of the atoms into ever more complex structures and the birth of the Universe itself. This is essentially the consciousness of the Universe herself, this Cosmic observer that observes itself and by this act creates all the forms, life and everything we know. Just as there are dimensions inside dimensions, so there are consciousnesses inside consciousnesses in a fractal manner and our human consciousness is a living mind inside the Mind of the Universe or this that we call God. Extremely profound. We discussed more this concept in our previous lecture and we will unfold it more in the lectures to come.
So, the act of observation gave birth to organized physical systems that led to our creation as well. Governed by the very same principles, the act of observing yourself sets your inner universe into motion. By observing yourself you gain insight about your inner workings and psychological mechanisms, you ask questions and tackle the answers, you analyze and by this process of taking notice of yourself you reveal new space in your mind and create new forms and knowledge.
Again, the more you take the effort to think, the more thoughts in your mind move, merge and organize into ideas, comprehensions, concepts and unfolding insight.
In the process of knowing yourself you become a creator of your very own, inmost universe that you fill with life. This is the deepest meaning to human life, that began to unfold since the ancient times when human consciousness gradually awoke for itself and began observing the world, this process of awakening from the primitive mammalian consciousness level to human is the profound transformation that inspired its symbolic reenactment in the biblical story of Genesis 3:7 “And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked;” The subject has detached itself from the object, the consciousness became autonomous and differentiated from the primordial womb of the unconsciousness. Now, the consciousness perceives itself as a subject that observes the world without as well as its world within. The symbolic psychological process this biblical story describes is very interesting to analyze, which we will do in an extensive lecture soon to come.
“And the eyes of them both were opened..” the human consciousness revealed.

It is time for the next big step in our spiritual, mental evolution. It is time to think deeper and realize wider, it is time to evolve our minds further! Someone
recently told me "What is normal?" in regard to psychopathologies in our contemporary society that are propagated as acceptable, so I though if we loose all of our criteria, what are we going to turn into ? And what about the health of this psyche of ours? I believe people should stop ignoring psychology, or deep troubles await us ahead!

“Your life is a reflection of your mentality.”
Bruce Lee

Improve yourself, change the world!

When Man Created God. Genesis of Religious Thought and the Spiritual Need [part 1]

"The experience of being the knowing subject . . is only one half of the process of knowledge. The other half is the experience of being the known object.”
E.Edinger

To know yourself. This shrouded in mysticism ancient concept brings a sense of esoteric mystery in modern thought. But the human soul has been an object of exploration and contemplation since tens of thousands of years ago. It has been the tool for spiritual insight of the first shamans of ancient tribal communities, who felt there is more to themselves than can be seen. Self-knowledge was born back then, when people for the first time began to interprete their dreams and the symbolism that sprang out of the depths of their minds. When people began to search for the source of their thoughts that appear in the mind as if having a life of their own. The source of their emotions to which they were subordinate.
Since then the great endeavor in search of answers that human though embarked on gradually gave birth to all the legends, philosophies and religions we have today.

Spirituality is a fundamental and intrinsic quality of Homo Sapiens. Our ancient predecessors felt their intangible connectedness to those invisible aspects of nature, to this hidden life-giving Source that was behind everything. And thus ritual was born, out of the need to communicate with the intangible that was later recognized as God.

The perception of the mystic, hidden, spiritual and this intimate connectivity of all that is visible with something beyond ordinary senses do not spring from anywhere else, but the human soul. Satori, enlightment and divine insight do not come from anywhere outside, but take place in the soul. All this is important to mention, because worldwide there is this prevailing age-old delusion that the Divine is situated somewhere outside ourselves, what is more, somewhere far away and far above up in the unreachable heavens. We are used to perceive God as a human-like figure with human emotions who sits authoritatively on a throne in the skies forever watching the crawling little specs below, may be eating chips while following up the developing intrigues, war conflicts and newest technological brake-throughs.
Of course, our whole view of the world from a religious perspective is old and inconsistent with modern humanity and this is why there is so much tension between peoples and religions. We need a new, wider, deeper and more encompassing view and understanding of God, the Universe and our place in it, a view that will suit our mental potential and capacity as intelligent, civilized beings. We do not live in the middle ages anymore, despite that the new pope seems to have been living under a rock.

And there is only one way to achieve the next level in our social advancement as one humanity – by realizing and understanding ourselves deeper and better. The change must begin in the mind of the individual, the transformation from the primitive levels to higher levels of self-awareness and realization on the whole.
Which returns us to the ancient notion of knowing yourself.

To know yourself is the process of self-realization, self-contemplation and self-improvement. It is the active consciousness that is aware of its mechanisms, that observes itself, takes notes of its behavior and reactions, understands and realizes the psychological motifs of others as well as those in itself. Active consciousness that operates on a higher level than the average awareness we have as a social standard today.
The science of contemporary psychology, as though still in its infancy, has organized and synthesized all the empirical knowledge we have thus far about the mechanisms and structure of human psyche into an elegant and comprehensive system. Psychology is the modern analogue to the ancient practice of knowing yourself.
People from the past had always perceived this inmost, invisible darkness that has control over them and filled them with fearfulness. This darkness is the very nature of the predominant part of our psyche – the unconsciousness, the contents and mechanisms of which are unseen and unknown to our regular “I” consciousness that is by default our self-perception and all this that we call “Me”. When you say “I” you address this limited perimeter of awareness that floats “on top” of the depths of your complete Self.

So, what exactly is this unreachable unconsciousness? And if our wishes, moods, affections and behavior are predominantly set to motion by psychological motifs that we are not aware of, then how can we realize all these so that we expand the limits of our minds?

The unconsciousness contains all the mechanisms that drive us in life, its roots begin from our DNA, where the fundamental instincts are encoded (Self-preservation and Reproduction instincts that we share with all other life on this planet, as well as many other forms of behavior which we will discuss at another lecture). The structure of our psyche is in layers and as we pointed out the deepest layer begins in our DNA that contains all the information from the very beginning of life on Earth. We have much to understand about this and much to learn. This is what the old Sanscrit esoterics call “Akasha”, the Informational pool of Earth or what Carl G.Jung describes as the Collective Unconscious, the source of primal symbolism. In brief. Then comes the personal level of the unconscious where all those emotional affections, events, twists and turns that shaped our personality throughout our lives are contained. In the universe energy is never lost, information is energy, memories are information. From the very moment when your brain is complete in the womb you start the record button and it never stops until your death. The psyche records your life completely, even though consciously you forget many things and remember just a few of all.
Having described these very basics of the psyche you may argue that if your psychology is rooted in your DNA then personality is predetermined genetically. The answer is a firm No. Firstly, you cannot dismiss the influence over ones personality the family setting has. The influence that the setting where you grow up has on your personality is tremendous and is the main shape-giver of what you are as a person and character. Then when the child is older it is greatly influenced by its peers, the “spirit of the era” in terms of the most fashionable stereotypes, mind frames and traditions that prevail in the society it lives in. And until it is adolescent and able to think and analyze on its own, this child` psyche is already fully formed and in most cases it remains in this shape with very little change throughout its life. That is why how you rear up the child is of utmost importance about what it is going to be when it grows up.
Of course, this is the case for most people who never embark on the journey of self-realization, observation and improvement. Because whatever your psychological start in life, when you grow up you have the ability to consciously reshape yourself, rebuild your personality and radically better yourself as a self-aware individual.
Considering the more or less uniqueness of every individual psyche, the process of self-improvement thus cannot have one universal formula that will work for all. However, there are certain key points that are collectively applicable to all and a must in order for you to achieve results, these are as follows: to put yourself at the place of the object of observation, to ask questions about yourself to yourself and search for the reasons behind your behavior, character, personality traits, moods, affections and reactions; honesty and sincerity with yourself. Perseverance and persistence in your will to achieve results and attain insight.

The first steps are the hardest. For me, after a decade of active mentality and self-analyzes I have achieved remarkable results that are already visible for everyone who knew me since back then when I first began. And even, I can say that I truly put my will into this some five years ago when I overcame my worst teenage years. So, in this period of five years I improved my character and relationships greatly, attained amazing insights about the nature of human mind, soul, society, religions, God… during the last two years I`ve increased my IQ with 30 points and my understanding about myself and the world is increasingly deepening and widening. Also, I notice an acceleration in the rate of sudden realizations and profound insights. A truly remarkable journey that sadly very few people undertake.

In the beginning it is hard, confusing and seemingly futile. The hardest part is being honest with yourself. It is very hard to admit to yourself that you were wrong, that you reacted inadequately, that the blame is in yourself and to acknowledge your negative personality traits. But if you persist, the results gradually come and in time you expand your awareness and the process of self-analyzes becomes a state of your mind. Your ability to communicate with others improves as well as all of your relationships. And problematic relationships are a plague for modern societies, resulting in all those ridiculous intrigues, constant fights, brake-ups and divorces.
Just imagine if everyone consciously betters him/herself and heightens his and her awareness. Humanity will radically transform into something unforeseen by grim science fiction views of the future where the same people fight with better guns.

Let us turn our attention now towards the introductionary quotation of E.Edinger and analyze that, which it describes.
In order for any knowledge to exist two fundamental factors must be present – observing subject and object of observation. When the scientist examines the atom, he or she is the observing subject, while the atom is the object of observation. When we explore the world we live in, the world is the object of observation and we are the observing subject.
During the predominant part of their life, the average person is mostly in the role of the observing subject, experiencing the world with our senses that connects us to reality outside and our consciousness with gaze fixed on the scene from without. It happens more or less to occasionally reflect on oneself, but so rarely this self-contemplation is persistent and consistent enough so to lead the personality to realization and awareness, to improvement, unfoldment and perfection.
In the process of self-knowledge and self-awareness, you put yourself at the place of the observable object, while the observing subject is you again. This is the consciousness that is aware of and observes itself. And in this process of self-observation your inmost universe becomes alive and fills up with forms, emotions and symbols that were previously unseen by your minds` eye.
Self-knowledge, as the highest aim and spiritual meaning to human life has been a central part in all philosophical and esoteric teachings since the most ancient of times.
Yet, our psyche remains largely unexplored and poorly understood to this day. The average levels of self-awareness being so low worldwide and humans still primarily driven by their most basic instincts. Mostly incapable of self-control, slaves to destiny, relying on the main stream to guide their thoughts, behavior and life. Still living by the laws of the herd and mental passivity.

[continues..]